The 2026/27 season has got off to a flying start for the Men’s 1st XI. Highlights include a 7-1 win on the opening day of the season against Brighton, as well as a 5-1 away win down in Worthing. Results that now see your 1st XI sat at the top of the table. After a start like this, it's easy to forget that this is a new look Men’s 1st XI. A new skipper has taken the helm, with the Hawk’s once again putting faith in their Academy system to hand Freddie Martin the reins on his return from university. This is also a younger squad. The average age has decreased, the average speed has increased, and they’ve been described as an ‘exciting watch’ by an increasing number of the Manor Lane faithful. With so much excitement around this team, and after a double-digit result on Saturday, it seemed only fair that the weekly match reports make a return. With negotiations ongoing with the regular journalist, we invited a guest reporter to paint a picture for you. With some editing required to share this with our family friendly club, it’s time to go on a journey with Charlie Thomson…

Right hello Hawks. Your resident 3rd favourite centre back and 1st choice flicker here, writing to you to provide a beautiful breakdown of our triumphant victory against South Saxons on Saturday. Before I launch in, I would like to express my personal happiness at seeing the team play so well. Everyone put in a huge shift, and most importantly we played for each-other. Up the Hawks, we’re winning it all.

So, my Saturday morning started nice and early in a beer cellar Library. Much to the horror of my ‘study partner’, I realised in a moment of clarity that the mighty Hawks were playing in not 12 hours’ time and I needed to lock in. So naturally, I started chugging water and informed our esteemed captain via text that I had “read too many books”. Nevertheless, I braved my 12:30pm alarm and made my way to the Nest, screaming Adele ballads in preparation for watching the wonderful Ladies 1s! On the background of some fantastic hockey, I would say it was a solid pre-match meet. No lateness to be seen, and of course I mentally destroyed Chris in a game of chess. Next on the agenda, a 45-minute team talk from Collins. I’m not much of a scientist but I can only assume this is where the context of time-warping originates. After promises from coach that these guys would be a “good outfit”, it was warmup time! Strictly business at this point, the only highlight being when Jorden asked me if I was ready for the game and I informed him, I was in fact “born ready”.

I should say here I will be providing my own personal highlights – sponsored by Veo.

PUSH BACK! After fluffing about with side changes, the game is under way. Instant pressure was applied via road-runner-Martin who proceeded to show the opposition his best and only skill within minutes – fast running. It becomes pretty obvious within approximately 4 minutes that South Saxons are perhaps not quite at the races today. An early break from wonderkid Harvey sees him fall over his own backstick, but the seeds have been sown, and the first goal is triumphantly shovelled home by Man of the Match, Nick Browning. Fun little story here, their centre forward who I was accidently marking informed me at 1-0 that our goal was “just pure luck”. I proceeded to remind him of this at roughly 8-0, suggesting that he should kindly pick out this week’s lottery numbers. Moving on, some silky skills from Alex and some wonderful defending from the backline saw the Hawk’s dominate possession. At this point their centre-halves decided on a new tactic, resorting to some slightly more agricultural attempts to prevent Harvey’s constant onslaught of their D. Panic not however, as Harv had his revenge with a lovely little deflection off a Collins mega-reverse and set the tone wonderfully. And if the dye wasn’t already cast, Baco made his first appearance of the game, and promptly took the ball, and then their centre forward, to swiftly end their first foray into our D.
This is when the floodgates really opened. Nick started slotting goals, and midfield Joe started applying some serious pressure to the opposition defence’s ankle ligaments. We stumble across our first corner of the game and I’m feeling generous, so I allow Freddie to flick it. He misses.

Respect must go to Mr Browning as he completes his first half hattrick with a sumptuous diving finish. Irritated at the fact that I hadn’t got on the scoresheet yet, I subbed myself back on after a refreshing 15 second break and proceeded to get a touch in the D! which I put straight into a flatstick. After re-asserting dominance by powerfully telling the forward line to “step in front”, I quickly retreated back to Bobbert’s safe hands and allowed Law to do all the hard work and slot in a rather tasty finish.

Then ensued a period of light assault by opposition aerial, dutifully dealt with by defence Joe and half time appeared close. But what happened next would change the momentum of the match forever. With the game feeling like it could go either way at 5-0, Jorden experienced a minor assault and won us a corner! As number 1 flicker I promptly assured Collins I would “bin it”. Collins, being slightly doubtful, instructed me to put it on the floor. Now everyone will know that to me, Collins’ word is gospel, so as I began my flicking motion, I pre-empted a beautiful slot somewhere near the corner and absolutely torpedoed my flick home. Money.

No doubt shocked at my flicking clinic and unable to find anything really to address, Freddie and Collins proceeded through their half-time notes, which admittedly fell on deaf ears for me as I was still silently celebrating and irritating Canning and Chris.

THE SECOND HALF STARTS, and South Saxons appear somewhat dejected. We get a sequence of corners, and here I provide my executive summary: Corner 1, I deliver a sumptuous pass to the back post. Jorden informs me that he couldn’t see the ball (too quick?). Quick break in the summary as South Saxons let our captain dribble through their entire defence and appear unable to stop him, resulting in a goal. Corner 2, Alex trampoline touches the stop, and I predictably put it straight down the middle. Corner 3, scarred from the last corner, this time Law puts the stop straight through my legs. Not to worry though, I quickly recovered the ball and ignored Collins who was wide open in a prime position for over 20 seconds. Oppo 16.

Next came my second favourite part of the game as I launch a sneaky little aerial towards Doddsy, only for their centre half to attempt a baseball swing at it. Soon after, we win another corner. I have wrongly been demoted to trapping and inform a disgruntled Jorden that we’ll be fine, I’m going to trap this. I miss the trap. Luckily, I am saved by another corner being won and Mr Martin decides to put it top corner. Safe to say I was gutted. I was then instantly subbed but got to enjoy watching Alex hammer home a slap off a corner; to be honest, I’ve now lost track of the score.

Yet the goals keep coming. Jordie gets one, beast, the game flows on. Notable moment where yours truly backsticks it and the oppo find something to celebrate in that. As the end draws close, there is one last wonderful passage of play on the edge of the opposition D, where the ball falls to the biggest liability on the team. With Collins' voice echoing in my ears, I play a naughty little pass to the back post, Nick is there, the rest is history. GAME OVER.

Absolutely ecstatic with the win, Collins had tears in his eyes, and Freddie expressed his immense pride in the team. MOM deservedly went to Nick Browning.
What a performance from the boys, a pleasure as always.

All my love,
Dr Charlie
(COYH)
xxx