Not a Carlsberg Saturday - by Hoppy

Well, if Carlsberg did Saturdays, this last one might not appear high on the list…

Really looking forward to a 4:15 push back miles away, The Lions were entertained by watching a leisurely Veterans match ahead of our fixture. This looks like the ticket.

No matter that the game was late by 45 minutes, it gave us ample time to appreciate the bleakest of all grounds we ever play on, surrounded by high security fencing and barbed wire, akin to a borstal exercise yard.

Imagine our joy, as once again we faced a team of not one below 45 years old and then made up of 7 teenage Eton rejects, who all called their older teammates “Sir.”

With a late cry-off, The Lions were down to 10. Fortunately, the oppo gifted us the one true Vet they had, Trevor, 73 who had not played for 8 years. His offer to play centre-half was politely declined and he went off to occupy a square yard or two for 70 minutes.

This however gave us a problem with a couple of Trevors. So we had a right Trevor and a left Trevor.

Our own right Trevor, together with Roy were Men of the Match repeatedly showing the young inmates that, despite being four-fold their age, that they need to respect their elders.

Right Trevor and Roy were the back-bone to both defence and the occasional rare attacks, with Freddie, back from a long absence, playing a fine attacking game.

Freddie, incidentally later in the bar over a conversation about fights (why?) related to us that he had several at school, had been mugged twice in Newcastle and car-jacked at knife point somewhere in Africa. Must remember to go and have a beer with Freddie in Brixton one day.

Pastoral Care Phil had a great game, particularly with at least two magnificent clearances off the line.

Walders, apologised to me for advising me on my perfectly “adequate” game last week and then gave me enough rope to get my own back in print. A jumbled apology came with a tale with something about his wife getting new earrings because he is going skiing with the boys and that his Saturday morning, as quoted, “rummage” (and yes, that is a euphemism) was interrupted at 7:30 by the Club’s Chairperson, Chris Ctori phoning about ski hire, leaving a disappointed Walders with just a cup of tea and a Digestive biscuit.

A 5- Nil loss was actually a poor result for the oppo and The Lions did play a reasonable game against all the odds. Another pair of useful legs would have made all the difference.

6 Lions made it back to Maidenhead’s clubhouse for a stone-cold pasta bake, as it had been made hours before, along with just two reluctant oppo, as the rest of the team had gone home for their fish fingers and chips, before prep and hard labour.

Left Trevor finally did something useful though and bought us all a beer, clearly enjoying our cheerful and happy banter at being miles away from home close to 8 o’clock.

So, as usual a moral victory in the bar. Look out Kent next week!

Hoppy